In Her Words
by AragornsFavorite
Summary: Glorfindel shares entries from his daughter's journal after she has sailed to Valinor. Elladan is faced with a decision that will affect not only him but his twin as well.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own them, I merely play with them

Title: In Her Words.

Author: Jade (aka Aragornsfavorite)

Email: PG-13 now, R later

Warning: AU. Mild sex, Slash Implied

Chapters: 1/15

Feedback: yes please

Summary: Glorfindel finds his daughter diary after she has sailed west and reads it to the others.

A/N.. This is a little different from what I would normally write but this started as a dream I had and since then the plot bunnies have been biting.

He hesitated just before opening the door, his hand resting on the handle. With a deep breath, Glorfindel finally stepped into her old room. Memories of her as a young elfling hitting him instantly. There was not much that could make Glorfindel get emotional but as he now stood in the middle of his daughter's room, he had to force back his emotions. She had made her choice, left everyone she cared about and that cared about her behind as she was sailed west. He understood why, everyone did. That of course had not made it any easier to see her go. He ran his hand through his hair and looked around the room. He wondered where to start and opened the wardrobe finally, starting there as he packed the clothes she had not brought with her.

It was a few hours later when he looked around the now empty room. Her things removed slowly by the servants and brought to where she had instructed. It hurt him more to see the room as empty as it was now. It had been her room for over three thousand years. Through it was Elladan who was asked to clean out this room; Glorfindel had thought the oldest twin had suffered enough of the last few months. Anira's being attacked was hard enough but to find out she had lost their child due to the attack was even harder on him, then her decision to head to the Gray Havens. Glorfindel could not let him suffer through this as well.

With a deep sigh he was about to step out of the room when he noticed the book. He wondered why he had not noticed it before as he picked it up. He recognized it as soon as he had it in his hands. It was a journal, Anira's journal. She used to love to write and would write each night about how her day went, whether it was good or bad. It was no surprise to anyone when she had become Erestor's assistant as she became old enough. It was then she would spend more time with Elladan and eventually they were bound to each other. He knew she wrote about that as well in a different journal. She told him that the day she became Elladan's wife was like starting a new life therefore she had started a new journal. He had not known until now that her old one has been left in her old room. Without thinking much about it, he took the journal into his room and sat down on the bed. His fingers tapping on the hard cover as he debated with himself on whether he should or should not read it. Shaking his head, he put the book down on his dresser and left his room, needing air to clear his mind.

Keeping himself busy for a few days, Glorfindel noticed that Elrond had become quiet and withdrawn. The few times Elladan had looked over at him during dinner or lunches, Glorfindel could see how much he was missing Anira, it was in his eyes. Elrond must have seen this as well for he had relieved Elladan of any duties unto he felt ready to return. Even Elrohir was staying close to Elladan. After a meeting with both Erestor and Elrond, Glorfindel returned to his room. He planned to get some rest for a few hours. After a few hours, he was still laying in his bed awake. Looking over to his dresser he saw the journal there and gave in, he got up and took it then settled back into his bed and opened the cover. He looked down at the paper that fell out and reached for it. It was in Anira's writing and unless he was mistaken, it was written not very long ago. Lying back on his pillow she started with the letter first. The Journal lying open beside him on the bed.

_Dearest Ada, _

_I wish it had not come to this, that I did not have to go away and leave you and my family. Know that I already miss you all more then anything and I hope that this letter finds you well. I also want you to know that none of it was your fault. You taught me that everything happens for a reason and that it is not always easy to see what that reason is. I believe this and in time, perhaps we will know the reason for my being attacked as violently as I was. I left this journal for you to find for I have a favor to ask of you. For many years, you and everyone have shared in different moments of my life, moments that I will always hold dear. I would like for every one to know how I felt and my thoughts of some of these moments and my Journal is the best way to do this. I leave the choice to you on which entries would be best but if it is not too much to ask could you please read some paged to the others. It is my last gift to you all until we can all be reunited. As I promised Elladan that I would watch each sunset and think of him, I promise to watch each sunrise and think of you. For that is when I am reminded of you the most. Growing up you were always to one to wake me up every morning. I miss you and I will be among the first to greet when you arrive. _

_With a daughter's love, _

_Anira_

Glorfindel put the letter down and got up, walking out onto his balcony and took a few deep breaths of the night air. He had already been missing her but after reading her words he missed her even more. It took a few minutes before he could return inside. Carefully taking the letter he read the words once more then folded it and placed it by his bed. Running his hand over the journal slowly he lifted it up and started to read what she had long ago written. By the time he was done, a new day had already begun. With the journal in hand, he went to Erestor's study.

"What brings you here this early and before breakfast" The advisor gave him a smiled

"I need page markers" he replied quietly, trying not to yawn as he started to feel how tired he was.  
"May I ask what for?" Erestor asked him, his eyebrow arched barely enough for Glorfindel to notice." You are not one for reading books"

Erestor was right, Glorfindel could not deny that. He took the offered markers silently at first.

"It's a favor for someone." He said with a small smile. He turned to leave and got o the door before stopping and looking back at Erestor over his shoulder.

"If you really wish to know. Meet me in the hall of fire after sunset." He said then without waiting for an answer her left.

The day had finally come to an end and shortly after Sunset, Glorfindel walked into the Hall of fire. He noticed Erestor had indeed arrived, As well as Elladan and Elrohir. Elrond was seated by the fire with Celebrian at his side. He had expected them to be there. It was the presence of Mirkwood's prince that surprised him the most. He greeted Legolas briefly as he took a seat in front of everyone.

"Glorfindel what is this all about?" Elrond's voice filled the room.  
"Anira" He replied, knowing he would have their full attention now." She has asked a favor of me and I intend to grant her wish"

He paused briefly and had glanced at Elladan, seeing the same sadness in his eyes that he had seen since the moment Anira had departed.

"What is this favor she asks?" Erestor was the one who spoke this time

"She wished to share her thoughts and feeling with all of us." Glorfindel finally replied" she has left her journal for us and asked me to read some of her entries."

After a short silence filled the room, Glorfindel looked up when he heard a voice that he almost did not recognize. Elladan's

"Then perhaps you should start reading" He had said.

Glorfindel nodded and looked at everyone briefly as he opened the Journal to the first page he had placed a marker. He noticed Erestor's brief smile and knew the advisor had seen the page markers. He took a deep breath and began to read.

To be continued….


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I do not own them, I merely play with them

Title: In Her Words.

Author: Jade (aka Aragornsfavorite)

Email: PG-13 now, R later

Warning: AU. Mild sex, Slash Implied

Chapter: 2/15

Feedback: yes please

Summary: Glorfindel finds his daughter diary after she has sailed west and reads it to the others.

A/N: I picked up where the last chapter left off so if you have not already read the first chapter then some of this may not make much sense.

After a short silence filled the room, Glorfindel looked up when he heard a voice that he almost did not recognize. Elladan's

"Then perhaps you should start reading" He had said.

Glorfindel nodded and looked at everyone briefly as he opened the Journal to the first page he had placed a marker. He noticed Erestor's brief smile and knew the advisor had seen the page markers. He took a deep breath and began to read from Anira's journal.

_It has been less then a week since we have arrived in Imladris. Ada says that I will miss Lorien less as time goes by, I do not believe that. As beautiful as Imladris is, I will always miss being back in Lorien. I miss all my friends there, including Haldir, though I would never admit that to him. It would only make him even more conceited than he already is. _

_Those that I have met here have been, polite for a lack of a better word. Though I wonder sometimes if that is mostly because of who my father is. This is not something I would discuss with Ada either, he would take it the wrong way. I love and adore him but at times even I get tired of hearing" Daughter of Glorfindel" after my name when I am introduced to someone new. Of course at the same time I would not change who my father is even if ever given the choice. _

_It is quiet here in the morning, a nice peaceful quiet though and it has become one of my favorite times of day here. I only wish that my room was not so close to the bell for that thing is deafening when it rings._

Glorfindel had looked up when he heard someone chuckle. He raised an eyebrow when he saw that it was Elrond

"That was the only complaint she ever approached me about." He told everyone. " And I believe it was only after a whole year of being in that room."

Glorfindel gave him a slight smile and nodded. Anira never wanted to bother anyone unless she was left with no other choice. He glanced over at Elladan briefly and saw that he was rested in his seat and had his head on his twin's shoulder. It was clear to everyone that he was still suffering. With a deep sigh he went back to reading the next entry

_It is now over six months we have been here, I still miss Lorien. I also miss my quiet mornings where I could just sit out on my balcony and enjoy the warm breezes and the view below. Now I prefer to stay inside, in a way it is also safer for "they" have arrived._

_Before we came here, Ada warned me about how the twins could be. I should have taken his word more seriously. In fact they are even worse then he told me they were. They are both obnoxious, arrogant, conceited… Elrohir is even more conceited then Haldir and I would never have thought that to be possible. Elladan may not be as bad as his twin but when they are together, I and everyone else knows they are up to something. They only relief I have at the moment is knowing that Lord Elrond will be sending them to patrol the borders again soon. I wonder now if part of the reason he does this is because he knows that all of Imladris will once again be quiet when they are gone._

_I know I am not being fair by saying that, but they really annoy me. I do not hate them I just chose not to like them either, even if I do think they are cute. I will 'never' tell them that, they are conceited enough as it is._

_I could not help it this morning at breakfast. I do not now why they always insist on sitting on either side of me at every meal, mostly just to annoy me, it's working. Elrohir just did not stop after I warned him a few times. Did he listen? Of course not. It only resulting in him wearing most of my meal and then just for my added pleasure I poured my juice over his head. There was no way I could stand to me near them after that so I just got up and left. I did glance back once before leaving the room and from where I was it looked like even Erestor was laughing. Elrohir was not happy, I on the other hand felt a lot better._

_There is no doubt in my mind that he deserved it. I will probably end up feeling guilty tomorrow and will apologize. Unless he starts again that is then it may be more then food and juice he will end up wearing. The most annoying thing about everything they do, is that bloody innocent look they always have, add to that their charming smiled and it's almost enough to make me forget what they always do… almost but not quite. I will however try to be patient. I know that one of these days I will have a chance to get even._

Glorfindel closed the journal, only then realizing how late it had become. He placed the book on the small table beside him and ran his hands over his face and he let out a tired sigh.

" Did she?" He heard Legolas asking quietly

"Get even?" Elrohir asked and continued when Legolas nodded." Yes she did, she had crushed some poison ivy and switched it with our bath herbs." He replied

Glorfindel chuckled at the memory of that day. Elladan and Elrohir had run into Elrond's office, wrapped only in a towel. He had to give Elrond credit, the Elf lord had managed to keep a straight face as he gave them some salve they could use. The minute they were out the door they had both ended up laughing., As Legolas and Erestor were doing now.

" They also learned never to annoy her again after that." Elrond added.

"It is late." Glorfindel said after a while." We will continue this again tomorrow" he told them all.

They other agreed to meet there at he same time the next night. Glorfindel and Elrond shared a look when Elladan had merely nodded then left the room alone. Glorfindel could see the concern in Elrond's eyes and knew they would need to watch Elladan closely, he seemed to suffer more with each day that passed.

To be continued


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: Tolkien owns the elves, I merely play with them.

Title: In Her Words.

Author: Jade ( aka Aragornsfavorite)

Email: R for later chapters

Warning: AU, minor angst, Het, Slash implied.

Chapters. 3/?

Feedback: yes please

Summary: Glorfindel reads from Anira's journal.

Chapter 3.

Lost in his own thoughts and memories., Glorfindel had not noticed the others had arrived until he heard Elrond clearing his throat. He looked up to see they were all seated and quietly waited for him to begin.

"Memories have a way of sneaking up on those who have lost a loved one" Celebrian's soft voice filled the room.

"She is not lost" Elladan spoke up but became silent again when everyone had glanced his way.

Glorfindel watched him even after the others looked away. Elladan's grief did not seem to ease in anyway, to Glorfindel it was if it was worse. He wondered now if reading Anira's thoughts to the younger elf was a good idea. The look in Elladan's eyes however told him something different. Elladan wanted this, and in a way needed this as well.

With a deep breath, he finally opened the journal to the entry he had marked off. He took a small sip of his wine first then sat back and began to read.

_In my short time in Imladris I have seen many elves visit. This however is the first time I have seen almost the entire realm getting excited. Not even when Lord Celeborn and Lady Galadriel had come for visit. Well perhaps others had been excited but Lord Elrond seemed almost annoyed._

_As busy as everyone is today I now find myself sitting upon the stairs that lead into Last Homely House and so far no one seems to have noticed. The weather is too nice to be sitting indoors yet I still felt the need to write. In truth, I am also curious to learn who this guest will be. Elladan and Elrohir I have learn now who it is. Yet for some reason they have been told to remain quiet. From what I have been able to learn, only a hand full of others also know. Until then all there is to do is wait. _

_It would appear that my waiting had not been for long. The new guest to Imladris is none other then Prince Legolas himself. I do not see what all the fuss had been about. It was, after all not King Thranduil. Though I do believe that is one elf I will not be seeing in Imladris anytime soon. Legolas has appeared to be everything that Haldir once told me he was.. Arrogant, demanding and annoying. I once said this of the twins, they were nowhere near as bad as he is. He seems charming at first but as one gets to know him more, his is anything but charming. _

_It was earlier today that some of us had gone to the lake. A picnic celebration was held in Legolas honor. He sure does demands attention. However, the best part of the day for me had been when Legolas had decided to invite himself to sit with me and Arwen. It was not that he was there that I enjoyed so much, it was the look on his face. _

_After he had seated himself between us and introduced himself, as if we did not already know who he was. He started to speak of his adventured in the forests of Mirkwood. I was already wishing I could tune him out as well as Elrond sometimes does with Erestor._

It was the sound of someone coughing that got Glorfindel's attention. Looking over he had expected it to be coming from Elrond, instead he saw that it was Erestor. Turning his attention to Elrond he saw the smirk he now wore.

" It would seem our young Anira has seen more then we realized" Elrond said.

" Or more then you would have liked" Celebrian replied, laughing softly.

Glorfindel glanced towards Legolas gave a small smile and went back to reading.

_It was when my father had gone passed us that it started. Legolas began the story I have already heard more then a few times. Although, Legolas' version was slightly different. He had made it sound as if my father was a mere elf that had just been lucky one day. When he asked me if I knew who he was and Arwen had replied that he is my father. I could not help but laugh at the look he had. I am sure he did not appreciate the fact that I had merely stood up after that and left. Though truth be told, I do not care. I refuse to give him the attention he thinks he deserves merely because he is a prince. _

_I had been more then happy when the day had come to an end. A few of the others had chosen to stay by the lake until way into the night. What had surprised me the most had been when I said good night to my father and some of the others. Legolas had then offered to walk me back. It was not his offer that surprised me, it was the look that Elladan gave him then said he would be the one to see me home safely. That is exactly what he had done as well. Once back at my room I had expected him to return to the lake for Elrohir was still there. Instead he merely wished me a good night and had retired to his room across the hall. I do not nor will I ever understand either Elladan or Elrohir. This is a good thing in many ways. I do not think they could amuse me as well if ever I did truly understand them. _

_It should have come as no surprise to me when I was asked to meet with my father. The fact that a messenger was sent to tell me should have been a warning without question I went to see him. Turns out that Legolas was not pleased with me. It seems that his royal prince was not used to being ignored and he did not like it. That fact he spoke to my father was not what bothered me, it was the fact that my father had agreed to speak to me about it. This lead to an argument between us, one that Erestor had walked in on. The next surprise came when Erestor had agreed with me. I believe this shocked my father more then anyone else. _

_As always Erestor is and always will be known for his ability to make his point that always put a quick and sometimes painful end to any argument. I am sure this is one of many reasons why is Elrond's advisor. This time had been no different. He made his point and then had left the room. He had closed the door on his way out but I still heard him. I do not think I was meant to hear his comment about falling for hardheaded elves but I did. I do not know if my father heard it or not. He did however have an amused look in his eye. As I had mentioned, Erestor did get his point across, my father did agree that I did not have to act as if I liked Legolas. Which is more then a relief for me. I do not believe I could have pretended to like him no matter what. I do not have to like someone to be polite to them. I will be polite with Legolas but should he wish to have my respect then he will have to earn it, not demand it._

Glorfindel turned the page but before he continued to read he reached for his drink and took a few sips. He glanced towards Erestor briefly but the advisor had looked away. He had not heard the comment that day but he did remember that argument quiet well. Anira had been right about Erestor. He had made his point quiet clear before storming out of the room. It had amused him to see Erestor that way, it still did

After a few more sips of his drink, he opened the journal once more and started to read..

_Watching Legolas leave had been as amusing as watching him arrive. I cannot help but wonder if any of the ellith would throw themselves in his horse's path to try to get his attention. I almost wish they would, at least that would have made things really comical. I can only hope no one saw how I rolled my eyes as Legolas waved over his shoulder then had suddenly urged his horse into a gentle run. Apparently he merely felt the need to show off. The image of him suddenly being knocked off his horse as he ran into a low branch of a tree came to mind. Elladan turned to look when I had not quiet been able to keep from laughing. Thankfully he never questioned me for I do not know how I would have explained it. _

_It was later in the day when I was stopped in the hall by Elladan. I had not even seen him there until he was standing directly in front of me. This was nothing new though, one if not both the twins would always do that. Elrohir seem to favor doing this more when I was carrying books or papers. He seemed to enjoy it when I would drop my things. Funny how he stopped doing that after I had glued his sword in place. Neither him or my father thought it was very funny. I never did get a chance to thank Arwen for the idea, I will next time I see her. _

_Elladan seemed nervous this time and I had to ask him twice if there was something he wanted. He finally got around to asking me if I wanted to go riding with him. This was something we would often do so I saw no reason for him to be nervous about asking me, or why I was suddenly feeling nervous about going. Of course I agreed to go and it was agreed that we would go two days from today. I am looking forward to going, I have not been riding in quite some time yet somehow, the idea that I was going with Elladan felt different. Perhaps I am just reading too much into it or am more tired then I thought. Either way, I am glad he asked me to go and I am looking forward to it._

Glorfindel closed the book gently then finished his glass of wine. Looking over he noticed that Celebrian had fallen asleep with her head in Elrond's lap that, to him, was a sign that it was later then he realized.

" We will stop here for tonight" He mentioned and everyone else had agreed. He noticed that Elladan seemed lost in his own thoughts again and let out a deep sigh. It was when he looked over at Erestor, the elf finally looked back at him. For a brief moment, Glorfindel saw what he thought was hope in Erestor's eyes but once again the advisor had looked away. It was this look that he thought of later on as he laid in his own bed and had drifted off to sleep.

To be continued…..


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: Tolkien owns them, I merely play with them.

Title: In her words

Author: Jade (aka Aragornsfavorite)

Chapters: 4/?

Rating: R for later chapters

Warning: AU, Angst, Het, Slash Implied

Beta: All mistakes are my own.

Feedback: would be nice!

Summary: Glorfindel reads part of his daughter journal to the others after she had sailed.

Glorfindel had gone early to wait for the others. He had gone over this next part a few times and wondered briefly if this one was a good idea. Elladan was still grieving, far more then the others. Though Glorfindel understood, he was still concerned about whether having him hear her words of her journal was making him grieve even more.

"He needs this" Elrond's voice broke Glorfindel from his thoughts." In a way we all do"

Closing the journal briefly and setting it aside, Glorfindel looked over at Elrond.

"I am concerned that…" He arched an eyebrow when Elrond merely raised a hand and had silenced him

"He needs this" He repeated, falling silent and sitting down as some of the others had now joined them.

Lost in his own thoughts again, Glorfindel looked over when someone cleared their throat. He gave Erestor an amused smile when the chief advisor had arched an eyebrow at him. A sigh that let him know they were all waiting.

"Alright" He gave in and reached for the journal, opening it to the page that he had marked and took a deep breath, glancing briefly at Elladan then began to read

_Many things have changed since the last time I have written in this journal. This included how thing have been between Elladan and myself. I do not even know exactly when it had changed only that it has. No longer is he the annoying twin I always believed him to be, though he does still join in with his brother in many pranks around Imladris. We have gone beyond the bonds of friendship. Every morning now, I find myself looking forward too seeing him, hearing him or even just knowing he is close. We have been out riding every few days and for once it feels nice to be able to talk with just Elladan, not Elladan and Elrohir and especially not with the shadows of our fathers constantly watching and listening. It was a nice change and one I hope we can continue to enjoy as we have been. _

_The last ride we took was only a few days ago and this time we went further down by the lake. I am not surprised to learn that Elladan knew where to find a nice secluded area for us to sit. He has always knows my love of the water so taking me there was just perfect. It was at the end of that day that things had changed between us even more. Once we had brought out horses back to the stables I somehow managed to trip as I had just gotten down from my horse. Elladan was there before I had the chance to fall for which I was very thankful. It was the look in his eyes that had changed and before I even realized it, we were kissing. It was not my first kiss but was by far the best one I have ever had. One I will not be forgetting anytime soon or ever. The problem now is I have not seen Elladan since then. I am starting to wonder if he regretted what had happened and is now trying to avoid me. I hope that is not the case, I already miss having him around. _

Glorfindel stopped reading as some servants came in with some wine and cheese for everyone. Looking towards Elladan, Glorfindel noticed he seemed to be lost in his own thoughts once more. If he were to guess he would say he was remembering the day Anira had been talking about.

"Had you been avoiding her?" Arwen soft voice filled the room, asking the one question that must have been on everyone's mind for they all glanced at Elladan

"No" Elladan shook his head "I was just trying to stay away from Glorfindel" He told them, getting everyone to laugh quietly.

"No one can blame you for that" Elrohir stated" He was a just a bit overprotective"

Glorfindel have the younger twin a look that had been returned with a knowing grin. He had been right of course; Glorfindel was overprotective when it came to his only daughter. He even had a hard time letting her see Elladan when it became clear to everyone they were involved.

Sipping his wine slowly, he waited until everyone was settled in again then reopened the journal and began to read, jumping to a new page

_seven days after our first kiss I finally heard from Elladan. At first it was juts a small note left on my door with a single white rose attached. I knew his writing and had to smile as he asked me to meet him in the gardens by the fountain. I was glad to have a chance to see and talk to him yet I was also nervous about what he had wanted to say. I have to admit he looked adorable sitting there waiting but as I got there he seemed to look as nervous as I felt. I thought it was sweet as he took my hand when I sat at his side. _

_I was more then just a little relieved when he assured me that he had not been avoiding me, that he had not even been able to stop thinking about me. It was his concern of what my father would do after hearing that he had kissed me. He seemed to relax a great deal when I mentioned I had not mentioned to anyone what had happened, how could I when I was not even sure of anything myself. We sat in silence for while, merely enjoying each other's company. He did not say anything when I had rested my head on his shoulder. His hand had reached up to play with the ends of my hair; it was a nice relaxing feeling. _

_I saw it coming this time, the slow way his hand had moved up to tilt my head up, the slight hesitation from him before he finally kissed me. It was what I had been wanting him to do since the first we had in the stables. Only this time it had not ended with just a kiss, this time when the kiss ended he tilted my head even more and began kissing my neck then even partially down my shoulder. It was then we heard someone clear their throat and as we both looked over we were met with Erestor. I, for the first time since I have known him, was not happy to see him. I was not ready to share Elladan just then. However he gave us a look and arched an eyebrow as he told Elladan he wanted to speak with him, it was not a request. Elladan promised he would come see me later. I laughed when he dared to kiss me again before getting up and walking off with Erestor. I still think I heard Erestor shout something though I have no idea what he may have said. _

"I asked him if he had lost his mind" Erestor added without being asked and had everyone laughing again, this time even Elladan as well. Glorfindel had stopped reading in order to take a sip of his drink. He turned the page again and saw that there was just a bit written and he read it quickly before lifting his head and glaring at Legolas.

"Glorfindel, what is it?" Erestor asked, noticing the look the golden elf was giving the Prince.

"Let me finish this and you will see" Glorfindel's reply sounded more of a growl that time.

_ I have never hated anyone as much as I despise Legolas at this very moment. Who does he think he is telling me that I am not good enough to be with Elladan? Telling me that Elladan needs to be with someone who is deserving of his affections. I know exactly what Legolas deserves and it involves a push and a high cliff. I know I should not say such things but at this moment I truly do not care. I know I cannot say anything of this to Elladan. Legolas is his dearest friend, after Elrohir of course. It was not even what he said that bothered me as much as how it was said. It was not a suggestion or even a request. It had been as if he had expected me to agree to end things with Elladan then was insulted when I refused. He may be the Prince of Mirkwood by while he is here in Imladris he is nothing more then a mere guest. Then to add insult to injury he had tried to kiss me after backing me up into a wall. I really do hope he had a fun time explaining to everyone why he suddenly had a broken nose. _

Glorfindel had looked up in time to see Elrohir stopping Elladan. His guess was Anira had never mentioned this and Elladan's anger was getting the best of him. Legolas had stepped back, just out of Elladan's reach. It was Elrond who got up to calm his oldest son and had Elrohir escort him out of the hall.

"Consider your self very lucky, Legolas" Arwen said as she stood up before him, looking his directly in the eyes." Had either myself or my brothers heard of this before you have had more then just a broken nose" She added as she tapped his nose with her finger before turning to go after her brothers.

Glorfindel merely closed the book hard, stood up and enjoyed the way Legolas had taken even more steps back. With a slight Nod in Erestor's direction, Glorfindel had turned and also walked out of the hall.

TBC…


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: I do not own them, I merely play with them  
Title: In Her Words.  
Author: Jade (aka Aragornsfavorite)  
Email: PG-13 now, R later  
Warning: AU. Mild sex, Slash Implied  
Chapters: Unknown  
Feedback: yes please  
Summary: Glorfindel finds his daughter diary after she has sailed west and reads it to the others.

A/N Given that I have done this chapter with only one good eye, there may be even more spelling mistakes then usual.

Glorfindel shifted restlessly in his chair as he waited for the others to be seated and get settled in before he began to read. He had not been in the best of moods lately and had having had red more of Anira's journal only made him realize just how much he was missing his daughter.

" Are you alright Glorfindel?" Arwen asked softly

" I am fine" He replied in a calm tome that everyone knew al to well. He was not fine, however he was also not going to talk about it.

Glorfindel looked up to see Erestor's concerned look but chose not to read too much into it for now.

" If everyone is ready?" he finally asked, clearing his throat quietly

" We are" Celebrian spoke for everyone.

Seeing that no one else had disagreed, Glorfindel opened the journal, reading to himself at first then started to read to the others

_I had told everyone not to make a big deal over the fact that it was my birthday, I know I told them and I know they heard me. As usual, they chose to ignore me. It should not have surprised me when my morning had started by a messenger and my door, a rose in his hand and a note from Elladan. I would have been happy with just that, however it seems that even the oldest twin was in a defiant mood, for not even five minutes had passed when another messenger was at my door. This one also with a rose for me and a message that I was to meet Elladan in the gardens for breakfast. I had no plans to go. Elladan must have already guessed this and with a few minutes, Elrohir was at my door and he left me no choice but to go with him. I plan to let Elrond know that alone, his sons are relentless. When working together it should be against the law in every realm. I once hear someone say that when the twins were together, no orc stood a chance, well I guess the same can be said about every , elleth, ellon and mortal they meet. I have no idea what Elrohir may have said to me on the way to the gardens, I was lost in my own thoughts of revenge. Revenge on Elladan, Elrohir and everyone else I suddenly saw in the gardens as we arrived. I will get even with every one of them there, one way or the other. _

_I was glad when that breakfast was over and everyone except Elladan had gone their own way. I enjoy the gardens more when they are quiet and it is just the two of us. Well it was just the two of us for a while, Elrohir had arrived with his latest interest. I can never remember their names and I do not know how he does, perhaps that is why he calls them all 'meleth' just so he does not call her by the wrong name._

Glorfindel had to stop reading, he was laughing too hard. Even Elladan was barely holding back his own laughter as he looked over at his twin, who had turned a very interesting shade of red as he stared at something on the far wall and over Glorfindel's shoulder.

After he had stopped laughing, Glorfindel took a few deep breaths and made sure everyone had been ready for him to begin again. He had started reading in a bad mood but his daughter's words were quickly helping him to relax, something she had always been able to do.

_It would seem that by the end of the day, my surprises were not quite over. After spending the day at the lake with Elladan and a few of the others. I was treated to a quiet dinner on Elladan's balcony. That was the best part to the whole day and I got to have Elladan all to myself for a short time. That does not happen nearly often enough lately and I have missed our quiet moments together. When I heard the knock at the door I had figured it to be Elrohir again. I had not expected to see Haldir. It was not planned for him to be here that day but it worked out perfectly in my opinion. He was there to bring a message to Elrond. Seeing him made me miss Lorien as well as his brothers. We still write to each other but that is not the same, seeing him made me realize that. I did think it was sweet when he slipped into the role of my big brother, though Elladan may not agree. Haldir had a list of rules, as he called it, for Elladan and most of them concerned me. I believe at one point, Elladan had become fed up and pulled Haldir aside, far enough that I could not hear what was being said. Whatever it was he had told Haldir, the marchwarden had seemed pleased. After that, Haldir made it his duty to tell us of everything that had been going on in Lorien. I was curled up on Elladan's bed with his arms around me as I listened to Haldir and at some point I had fallen asleep. When I woke up it was the next morning and Haldir was gone. Elladan was asleep next to me and I loved seeing him there, sleeping peacefully. If given the choice now I would love waking up to Elladan every morning. Somehow though I get the idea that my father would not approve of this, not yet anyway. Come to think of it, My father would most likely still object even if I were bound to Elladan though it might be a little amusing to see how he would stop it. _

_I saw Haldir again later in the day as I was having a walk with Elladan. He told us he was staying for a while longer then he had originally planned, that he wanted to be here for something that was to happen. I also saw the warning look Elladan had given him that only made him laugh as he had walked away. There is something Elladan is not telling me and I still wonder if it had anything to do with his talk to Haldir the other night. I hope Elladan will tell me eventually or I will have to pay Erestor a visit. If anyone knows what is going on it would be him and he will not lie to anyone so it would be fairly easy to find out of course that is only if Elladan takes too long to say anything. _

Glorfindel closed the Journal slowly and took a deep breath. It was only a few months since Anira had sailed west but yet Rivendell had seemed empty from the moment he had saw her leave. Reading her journal was helping to ease some of the pain, not all of it.

"She is greatly missed by everyone, my Friend" Elrond said quietly

Glorfindel looked over at him and nodded, knowing he was right. He grabbed his drink and finished it on one sip before placing his glass back down. Everyone was saying good night and making their way out of the hall when Glorfindel caught up to Elladan and handed him the journal.

" The page that is marked next is for you to read only" Glorfindel told him" I know Anira would not want everyone to hear what she wrote this time"

Elladan looked down at the journal now in his hands and took a deep breath

" I am not sure I can read it" he admitted quietly.

" you have to at least try" Glorfindel said" return it to me when you are done, there are more entries that I wish to read" He said before giving Elladan's shoulder a slight squeeze and leaving him along to his thoughts and with the journal.

Elladan was not sure how long her stood there for, staring down at the journal in his hands. He had looked forward to every time Glorfindel was to read what she wrote but the thought of reading her words himself had him nervous. He missed her more then he was admitting and it hurt to go back to his empty room every night, to sleep alone and wake up without her beside him.

"it will do you some good" Elrohir's voice sounded in his ear.  
I can not do this" Elladan said, sadly as he looked at his twin,

Elrohir could see the sadness in his eyes and it broke his heart even more to see his twin suffering like this.

"Elladan, you must do this" he said finally" Glorfindel knew this as well, if you do not face this then we will lose you." He said before rushing off, the idea of losing his twin was too much to handle for the younger twin.

Watching his twin leave, Elladan took a deep breath and made his way back to his room. As he sat down on his bed, he glanced down once more at the journal. His hands were shaking as he finally opened the soft cover to the marked page. At first he closed his eyes at just the sight of her writing. A style he had come to know by heart. Taking a few more deep breaths, he finally dared to start reading silently

_It is hard to find anytime alone with Elladan. With Haldir always insisting I spend time with him or Elladan's duties calling him away for days at a time. I know it is selfish of me to want to spend all my time with only Elladan but I cannot help feeling that way. When we finally did get some time alone last night, Elladan made sure we would not be interrupted. We stayed inside him room, curled up together close to the fire and just talking. Elladan would always sneak a kiss in after a few minutes. When it became late enough for me to be heading to my own room, Elladan had leaned over and kissed me again, only this time it did not stop there. As the kiss ended, Elladan tilted his head and began kissing my neck softly then made his way to my ear. I know he had heard the soft gasp that escaped me. If I thought his attention to my ear was nice, the feel of his fingers against my skin was even better. I had not even realized that he had unbuttoned my gown, nor did I care at that point. All I know is that the more I felt his touch the more I craved it. My whole body began to respond to one single touch from him. I loved his reaction when I reached over to touch him, pushing my hand up under his tunic to feel his skin beneath my fingertips. _

_My breathing was the hardest thing to control. There were times I found it could not breath at all as he had started to kiss over my skin, sending delightful little chills through me. No words were spoken as he removed my clothes and I removed his, nor did we need to say anything as he had lifted me up and carried me to his bed. The feel of his skin against mine was better then I had ever imagined it would be. I felt him shiver once or twice as I moved my hands slowly over his shoulders and down over his back as he had moved above me. I could feel his desire and knowing it was me he wanted only increased my desire for him as well. _

_Things only became better with each passing minute. Elladan's hands slowly moving over me, touching me everywhere and soon his kisses had made the same path as his hands. All I could was close my eyes and enjoy every touch, every kiss. It was not enough after a while, we both wanted more. We needed more. I know Elladan could tell I was nervous and I am very grateful now as I was then that he took his time. Kissing me softly at first and letting the kiss deepen. I felt him enter me and was unable to keep from crying out. I had expected it to hurt and it did. Elladan kissed along my neck and shoulder and within a few minutes the pain was gone and the minute he started to move all I felt was pleasure. We were together all night this way, bringing each other to our limits over and over until we had no energy left. It was morning when I left and I did not get more then an hour sleep. Elladan waking me up in ways that only he can, making love to me once more before I left his room. By the time I reached my room I had less then an hour to get changed and head to the library for one of Erestor's lessons. I was glad he did not ask why both Elladan and I had seemed so tired, though I am sure he had noticed. _

Elladan took a deep breath as he closed the journal carefully. It was late and he would wait till the morning to return it to Glorfindel. Placing the journal on the night table beside his bed, he merely stared at it. He remembered that day well, even after all their years together he could remember every single detail of that night with her. Closing his eyes now he could almost feel her with him. His bed no longer feeling the same emptiness as it had every other night since her departure. As he had many nights before this he let his tears fall, always and only when he was alone did he let his emotions get the best of him. His guilt of not being able to protect her would not let him heal, would not let him get past what he had lost, not only his wife but his child as well. None of the others could understand the amount of pain and guilt he was feeling. Reaching up to the necklace around his neck, her necklace. Given to him the day she left with a promise that he would give it back to her when he saw her again.

"Anira, meleth nin" He sighed as he closed his eyes, drifting off to a restless sleep after whispering " Goheno nin!"

TBC.

Translations: Meleth ninMy love

Goheno nin Forgive me


End file.
